im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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