well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
