and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
