God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
