YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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