I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
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It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
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Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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