My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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