we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
