she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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