I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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