My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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