Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
