so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
