I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
