No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
