He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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