You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize