Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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