i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
