When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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