Just fell off a train. Bad.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
