Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
