look no pants
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
