Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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