I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
