he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
