if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize