I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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