"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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