how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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