Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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