Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
porn star boner night. come get it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
