omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
