You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize