I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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