I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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