I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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