im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
this hospital has no fireball
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
