Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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