Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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