It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
