do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How external is "for external use only"?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize