i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
