i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
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I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
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Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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