in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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