are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
