Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
