...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
