11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
need another drink. this is the easiest way
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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