I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
