so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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