She's JV to your varsity
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
