it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize