Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
