so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
