The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize