Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
