Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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