its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
