so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
