So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
