btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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