I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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