I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
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I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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