I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
