found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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