he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
