cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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