Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
