scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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