Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
