it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
